We are as happy as we choose to be.April 19 2007
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I have to confess that I have small tendency towards self pity.
As an example:
Early in my second year of university I was finding the course load particularly tough and I was feeling sorry for myself because I was working non-stop and achieving academic grades that were somewhat below my personal expectations. To top it all off I had looked for student housing late that year and ended up having to live in what amounted to a second story sun porch with very little barrier between me and the November winds which howled around me.
This sun porch was attached to a larger room through an open doorway. This larger room had no windows but was occupied by my room mate. I wish I could remember his name but he was from Little Current Ontario Canada and had been shot in the spine at the age of six in a hunting accident. It left him semi-paralysed from the waste down and in need of using a walker for the rest of his life. Also he was no academic star but managed to get by in a program which was not as difficult as the one that I had chosen.
Despite of all the difficulties which life placed in his path he woke up every morning with a smile on his face and he spread good cheer and optimism to everyone he met.
It soon became obvious ... If this person, despite his difficulties, could find reason to be cheerful and optisimistic, what right did I have to feel so burdened with my hardships that I needed to drain energy from the people around me?
Later in life I noticed that happy people tended to be happy regardless of their circumstances and unhappy people were the reverse.
I have also noticed that many people often use money as a barrier to their own happiness. ... "I would be happy if I had a better job."; "I would be happy if I could afford a vacation." ... to these people I would recommend that they take a close look at photos Bill Gates, the worlds richest man. I don't know the man personally, but from his photos he does not look happy. ... if being the richest man in the world does not make you one of the world's happiest men, then the rest of us need to stop dreaming and hoping that money will be the cure to our own blues.
So my advice to people who pursue happiness, is to cease the pursuit and to begin the deciding. Deciding to be happy starting now, or accepting the fact that your unhappiness is a matter of your choicing and not a matter of your fate.
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