A Cure for DepressionOctober 8 2007
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Depression is a clinical condition and it is unfair and unrealistic to tell people who suffer from this condition to buck up and get a backbone. People who haven't suffered from this condition have no right to tell people who do, how easy it is to get out of it.
I want to say that in terms of talking about depression I have earned my stripes. I have suffered from the condition and I know how debilitating it can be and how real the symptoms are. I have taken anti-depression medication and I know the relief that comes from taking that medication.
But I can also tell you that as a "victim of depression" I found a path to normality and the the freedom to leave all medications behind me. I believe that what I have learned from my own experience may apply to many others.
Before I go on let me share with you the identity of the two ingredients in my anti-depression formula. The first is courage and the second is hope.
Whereas medication and psychotherapy can both be very useful, there is a real danger that when used without caution they can end up becoming more of a crutch than a cure, by supporting our ability to tolerate dysfunctional and suboptimal lives.
How I came to these conclusions is a story that may interest some.
There is some history of depression and alcoholism in my family so I know that I came upon the affliction honestly in my 40th year. A marriage going sour followed by a difficult separation and a collapsing career all added up to the creation of a debilitating bout of depression. Gratefully, medications like Prosaic and Zoloft were only a prescription away and I was able to keep on functioning at some level both as a business owner and as a parent.
My first insight into the true nature of depression came from a suicide intervention course which I received as part of my volunteer training for a position working on a crisis line. They taught us that having suicidal feelings was like being swept away by a river. However we could choose to get out of that river if we wished. This lead me to consider why anyone including myself would want to be carried away by such a river in the first place. The answer for me was that I felt so overwhelmed with life that I subconsciously wanted to be rescued by some unknown person who could carry me to safety.
I was in effect bargaining with life by saying, "Either you make me a better offer or I'll quit!"
What I realized at some point is that there was no one out there with either the ability or the interest to save me, and that if I did choose to quit ... then I was free to do so. What I really had to decide was whether I was prepared to live at any cost. Did I have the courage to face whatever indignity life delivered on me or was my commitment to life conditional on it being pleasant enough to suit my taste? If I did choose to avoid the cost of living, was I also choosing to transfer that cost to my children, who would have to live with the guilt of their connection with my actions?
So I finally decided to live ... at any price! Once I found the courage to make this one decision, feelings of suicide were no longer to be a part of my life.
The second thing I learned was about controlling depression. At one point I found myself unemployed, without savings, and without the support of any adult family member or significant other. At the same time I was suffering from depression.
It was then clear to me that my choice was to either beat the depression or to die.
Having already decided to live, I also decided to purchase two Anthony Robbins motivational tapes and to listen to them repeatedly.
It worked. The cycle of the negative story that I was playing in my head was broken and I was able to create and play a new story of hope which provided me the courage I needed to get up each day and do what I needed to do to make a living. I was also able to stop taking medication from that day forward.
An interesting experience I had after this event involved reconnecting with a person whom I had a relationship with prior to the transformation. Still hopeful that I could rekindle the relationship I engaged this person and discovered that they were triggering a recurrence of my feelings of depression. When I distanced myself from them my symptoms disappeared.
What was the connection? ...
Depression is a feeling of hopelessness. Any story we tell ourself that ends with ... "but there's nothing I can do ..." is a story that can trigger feelings of depression, at least in those suseptable to such feelings.
As long as we are alive there is always "something we can do", either to improve our own situation or to improve the situation of people we care about. If you find yourself telling yourself stories with hopeless endings ... change them! Obtain motivational tapes and listen to them over and over again until you have a new story. If you find yourself in relationships with people who have stories with hopeless endings, or endings that depict you as a either a failure or being powerless ... distance yourself! These people may be pleasant, they may give you comfort, sustenance or pleasure, but they are toxic to your well being. They will disable you and make you powerless to help yourself.
I want to warn you as well about the danger of depending on psychiatrists and psychologists for advice. Having known a few in my time, their job is to keep their job. If they cure you in two visits then their job and their cash flow is finished.
What they should be helping you do is create a story about you; a story filled with hope, courage, and meaning. Whatever indignities you have suffered in your past were put there to test you and to strengthen you. If you made mistakes, their purpose was to teach you how to avoid making such mistakes in future.
In the end our life's meaning comes from what we give to others. As long as we have breath in our body we have the ability to give, and only in giving can we truly receive.
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